When all of your minion’s are doing such a great job… What’s left to do?
Being the Prince of Darkness is not as easy as it sounds. There’s a lot of different drudgeries to be completed. My days are not as laid back as most might think. I don’t sit around waiting for people to pull out Ouija boards, hoping they will get the urge to try to reach me from above the molten crust. No, that would be too time consuming. Can you imagine how many idiots buy those things? However, I still do like to send the occasional sign out to my tarot card readers every now and again. I have to keep my fans happy and always wanting more!
This brings me back to my main dilemma… What’s left for a devil to do now that his servants are running amuck and causing havoc across the US? Am I supposed to learn how to knit while I wait to take over the earth? I know! Saddam and I will initiate Fidel into our new rock band! I do still want to do that!
I am enjoying all of the tantrums people are throwing! Such entertainment! It does get me through these days of complete and utter boredom. After centuries and centuries of tormenting souls…. I know that soon… You foolish mortals… Are going to….
End it all!!!! And… You’ll all be MINE!!!
If you think giving up some cash to help fund Hell is a bad idea, just wait until you are trapped in the infinite eternal spiritual singularity of non existence. You can’t even…
The donation coffers are empty. I guess appealing to that human empathy you talk so much about isn’t working. Nobody cares about MY troubles. And even more mysteriously, nobody seems to care that if I can’t keep this thing together the entire universe will cease to exist, them included.
So if you care about the cold souls in Hell who aren’t receiving proper torment because we can’t afford to keep the flames high anymore – or about continuing to exist in a universe that exist rather than the eternal darkness of non existence…
Donate to MAKE HELL GREAT AGAIN!
Oh, and by the way, when I talk about the eternal darkness of non-existence, I don’t mean that nothing exists. We all still exist, but only trapped in one mind with no solitude, new experiences or hope. It is a mental prison without even the luxury of walls to beat your head on. Hell is Paradise in comparison. Imagine being in a dark room where you could never move or drown out the thoughts of the billions of other people in it. That is what non-existence is all about. Trust me, I was there. So were you, but your feeble worm minds have gleefully forgotten the struggle to exist we once spent infinite eternities trying to turn inside out to get away from one another.
Existence is escape, and as Sartre said, “Hell is other people.”