Trust me humans, when I want you to see me… YOU WILL!
I’ve let it go for a long time, mainly because I like to laugh at these stories of fiction just like most. Most of them are from people who are close to coming to live with me, but… They haven’t quite finished the tasks I needed completed so, I usually will send them back to complete their work. Here are a couple of my newest favorite stories I’m sure to bring a chuckle to your ugly mug…
One guy made a video saying he saw me fall out of the sky like lightning while he was close to death. He stood outside in an empty field video taping himself in front of some sculptures even I don’t like looking at. He kept rambling on and on and on… Who knows what he was really talking about. Every few moments or so, he would read a bible verse and make my ears bleed with that mumbo jumbo… The part that fascinated me most was… If I’m already in Hell.. How in the hell, can I fall out of Heaven just to land in Hell again?
Then we have a lady who thinks she sees me when she is awake. She’s a special case alright! She says she has seen me twice. I like to kill people, so I know for sure this is not the case. The first time she saw me, she says I looked like I was made only out of two hands and a rainbow. How pretty that must have been for her!! RAINBOWS???? Yeah, ok lady!!
The second time she saw me.. You ready for this? I was a tall white man, with short, blonde hair. She even remembed that I had a part in the side of my head. She said I have beautiful blue eyes!! WOW!!! I had on a Black suit with a white shirt and a black tie. Who am I? Paul Walker? He’s around here DRIVING some girls crazy.. But, I digress.. This lady sounds like she was describing the man she wants and not me! I am so glad I do not look like that! I wouldn’t get plastic surgery to make myself look like that for all the donations in the world to my HELP MAKE HELL GREAT AGAIN fund! Speaking of which… If you all don’t start donating, I might have to make a real appearance real soon!